You Only Have to Be You

In this episode of Yoga Teacher Confidential, Sage Rountree recounts a pivotal experience from her second-ever class that taught her to embrace her own teaching style without feeling the need to apologize for not being like others. This story is a reminder for all yoga teachers: you only have to be you.

You’ll hear:

• How one unexpected teaching opportunity led to invaluable feedback

• The pitfalls of over-apologizing as a yoga teacher

• Why embracing your unique voice is key to connecting with—and centering—your students

Call to Action:

Do you struggle with apologizing for your teaching style? Share your experience with Sage on Instagram @sagerountree, and don’t forget to visit sagerountree.com for more resources that support your journey as an authentic yoga teacher.

Links:

• Sage’s website for yoga resources

• Connect with Sage on Instagram

• Yoga Teacher Confidential podcast site

For more insights, subscribe to Yoga Teacher Confidential, check out my YouTube channel, and follow me on socials:

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Want to become (almost) everyone's favorite yoga teacher? Explore my continuing education workshops and 300/500-hour teacher training programs. It's all at sagerountree.com.

Transcript

[00:00:00] Can I tell you about the second yoga class I ever taught? I went as a student and wound up leading the class. And I've received one of the most effective and useful pieces of feedback I have ever heard as a result. This is Yoga Teacher Confidential, I'm Sage Rountree. Thank you so much for listening. I did my 200 hour yoga teacher training in 2003 and 2004 down in Charlotte, North Carolina, a little bit less than three hours from where I live in Chapel Hill/Carrboro, North Carolina. My kids were really little and my blessed mother-in-law actually paid for my yoga teacher training as a way to get her grandchildren down to see her one weekend a month over the course of eight months. One of the requirements of my 200 was that we created our own opportunities to teach. 

And that was especially useful because I was coming some distance every time that I went to yoga teacher training, I couldn't have even gone down to teach a class at the studio feasibly, [00:01:00] given my circumstances. So I wound up talking to the management at one of my old gyms, the ladies gym, and saying, Hey, could I please volunteer to teach a yoga class or two to get my feet under me and serve these required hours for my teacher training program. They were game. And I taught a class there on a Monday night to a group of a huge group of maybe like three women. And it actually felt pretty good. 

It went pretty well. Now I did have some classroom teaching experience. Uh, because when I was in graduate school at UNC, I was teaching composition and literature. So I wasn't unfamiliar with being in front of the classroom. But as you know, as a yoga teacher, teaching movement and talking at the same time are very sophisticated. 

That's some next level stuff to both be, um, moving, describing the movement and cueing your students into it. So it was a, it was an interesting experience. I felt like it went pretty well. I was, and still am an ongoing student. And the next night I went [00:02:00] to my current gym, which was across the street from our house to take the regular class that I had been enjoying throughout yoga teacher training. Now the teacher in that regular class was a very interesting character. 

He was fantastic. His name was Bryan, Bryan with a Y. And Bryan was I kid you not a professional finger painting artist. And he had received, um, finger painting, like a finger painting lineage from his teacher who was the most famous finger painter of all. And she had gifted him with, uh, like her legacy and he was carrying on in her tradition of finger painting. 

I know that sounds imaginary, but it's a hundred percent real and you can. Probably figure out for yourself, the kind of guy who would live in the intersection of the Venn diagram between like professional finger painter and yoga teacher. He was fantastic. He also had a very strong North Carolina accent, which I really vibed with and he would deliver his class almost in the cadence of a country, preacher, [00:03:00] which was really fantastic, a little bit different. 

And I would hear since I went to his class once and sometimes twice a week, the same phrases come up over and over and over again. Then as I was in yoga teacher training, I was also listening for those phrases. And I think if I were not, uh, a student who was also listening with the teacher's ear, maybe they wouldn't have seemed so repetitive to me. 

They would have just felt comforting and regular. Uh, like the regular elements that you would have in a church service. At any rate on this Tuesday after my first Monday night classthat I had ever taught. I showed up, was waiting in the hallway with my yoga mat, my yoga mat bag over my shoulder. And I realized that there were quite a number of us waiting in the hallway for Bryan to show up for class. Still didn't see Bryan, and eventually somebody ran back from the front desk and said, oh no, Bryan just called. 

He has car trouble, his car won't start. He's not going to make it down for class tonight. And [00:04:00]everybody kind of said, oh, and their shoulders slumped. And they turned around and began to leave walking down the hallway. And I thrust my hand up in the air and I said, wait, I can teach the class. It's like, wait, I'll land the plane. And they looked at me and they said, huh, are you a yoga teacher? 

And I said, with some false confidence, absolutely. I'm a yoga teacher. I had taught one class less than 24 hours before. And they said, yeah, sure. We could try it and began to file into the studio space and lay out their mats. Meanwhile, the management of the gym, which is run by UNC healthcare so had extremely high standards and regulations that they had to followwent to check at the front desk to see if it would be okay for me even to teach the class. 

Since I wasn't on payroll, I hadn't been screened and vetted and so on. And they decided that it would be okay. As long as someone who did work there came and took the class so that they could stop me. If I went totally off the rails is my presumption. [00:05:00] So that was all set up. I got in front of the class. 

I didn't really have time to be nervous. And I taught the same sequence. I had taught to the three or four women at the ladies gym the night before. I felt like it went pretty well, especially considering that I hadn't been prepared to teach the class that I showed up to take. And, uh, the next day I was back at the gym. Doing a workout. 

When I was approached by two of the students from the class. They came up to me. They said, Hey Sage, it was great. Thank you so much for landing that plane last night for taking care of us. When we were coming, expecting a class, it was nice to actually get a class, even though it wasn't with Bryan. We are both elementary school teachers. 

And as part of our profession, we're really used to giving and receiving feedback. Would you be open to receiving some feedback from us? And I thought, okay, these are school teachers. They're used to this. They're going to be kind in their delivery. Right. And I [00:06:00] said again with some false confidence. I absolutely have added a totally want to hear what you have to tell me. And they said very kindly. We could see that you weren't Bryan. Because Bryan was a finger painting expert and a male yoga teacher. 

And I was Sage, the student in the class who literally raised her hand and said, I guess I can teach this class. We could see you weren't Bryan, so you didn't need to apologize for not being Bryan. 

I thought about that for quite a while. In fact, y'all, I'm still thinking about that. You don't have to apologize for not being Bryan. And a part of my initial processing of this really useful feedback. I realized I had over and over during the course of this class that I had unintentionally substituted said, I know Bryan always does it this way, but I'm going to ask you to do it this way. [00:07:00] It was patently obvious to everyone in the room that I wasn't Bryan and I didn't need to negotiate against myself. 

I didn't need to apologize for the way that I was doing it. Like so many things that you might find yourself saying over the course of a yoga class that was unnecessary. It could have been cut out and just simply not replaced. Just silence would have been better than drawing that attention to my own perceived. Um, deficiencies. We could tell you weren't Bryan. 

So don't apologize for not being Bryan. What a wonderful piece of feedback, what a gift to receive after only my second yoga class. Now, what does this mean for you? You're not Bryan. You're not Sage. You're not your own teacher. You're not the teacher you are substituting for. If you are a substitute, you are you, and you only have to [00:08:00] be you when you walk in to teach your yoga class. The students who will be the best fit students for you who will be best served by you, the students for whom you are the dedicated teacher. They will vibe with you or they won't, but you don't need to make yourself into somebody that you think is going to please everybody. 

Instead, you need to show up and be you and share the gifts of your yoga practice. Share what yoga has done for you in your life, as authentically as you can, not in the way that your yoga teacher trainer had scripted for you, not in the way that your favorite yoga teacher would deliver the message. 

And also not in the way that. Then anybody, you might be subbing for my deliver the message. You need to show up and do it your way. And when you do, I promise the students who are going to resonate with you are going to stick around and come back. There is no need to apologize for not [00:09:00] being Bryan. 

Let me also point out that there's no need to apologize for just about anything, unless you were like delayed by traffic and a little bit late on your way in, you don't need to apologize for things that are out of your control. 

If the room is a little bit warm, when you get there, if the room is a little bit cold, when you get there, if you're having trouble with your music, if you forget something on one side, none of those are worthy of an apology. Just continue on like so many things in yoga. They can just be clipped out those notes of apology. And left unreplaced, simply replaced with silence. Because we're not there to pull attention out of our students and onto ourselves. 

And that's what over apologizing we'll do. Instead, we, as yoga teachers are there to help our students achieve yoga union connection and in their connection. And while there may be some elements of connection with you and [00:10:00] with each other and with the community at large, the most important connection that's happening in a yoga class is that of the student, with the student of the student's self, with the student self. And when you bring their attention out of that yoga union and connection and into your own perceived deficiencies. You are making it harder for your students and not easier for your students. 

I know you want to be a facilitator of yoga, so don't let it be about you and don't apologize for who you are or who you aren't. 

Now if you are a substitute teacher, it is okay to do a quick introduction to point out who you are. I might've even said something as simple as, Well, obviously. I am not Bryan. 

Bryan is stuck with car trouble. I'm Sage and I am a yoga teacher, even though I was only a teacher for one day before that second class I ever taught. And tonight we are going to start lying down on our backs. Please come on down and make [00:11:00] yourself comfortable or whatever. Just a very quick introduction. 

It's all that you need to set the tone. People will recognize. Oh, that is Sage. That is Sally. That is Mary. That is Tisha. Whoever you are just be you. 

The affirmation you might repeat to yourself to help yourself remember this. Is, I only have to be me. If it helps for you to think I'm not Bryan or I'm not Sage or I'm not my teacher trainer. That's fine. But repeat with me. I only have to be me.

 I hope this has been really useful advice for you. I hope it helps you walk into your next classroom experience, feeling a little bit more like you and a little bit less like a fraud, because if you are sharing from your practice, if you are sharing from your own love of yoga, you can't go wrong. This is Yoga Teacher Confidential. 

I'm Sage Rountree. We can connect at sagerountree.com. On the [00:12:00] socials I'm @sagerountree with no letter D or you can find the podcast site at yogateacherconfidential.com. See you next time.