Yoga Teacher Confidential: Secrets of Becoming a Great Yoga Teacher

61. Teaching Yoga When Friends and Family Show Up to Class

• Sage Rountree • Episode 61

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The most awkward yoga class I ever taught? When my husband raised his hand mid-class like a third grader to ask if he was doing it right. If you're teaching through the holidays, you're probably about to experience your own version of this—friends, family, and visiting relatives showing up to your class.

In this episode, we're diving into one of the most complex dynamics in yoga teaching: what happens when people who know you outside the yoga room show up to your class, and what it means when your students bring their loved ones to practice with you.

We'll explore why teaching friends and family is uniquely challenging (hint: it's about competing relationship dynamics, not respect), how to navigate these situations gracefully, and why a student bringing someone to your class is actually one of the highest compliments you can receive as a teacher.

You'll learn practical strategies for setting expectations, maintaining boundaries while staying warm, welcoming guests effectively, and handling those inevitable awkward moments when things don't go as planned. Plus, we'll touch on the ethics of romantic relationships in yoga teaching—because someone needs to say it.

Whether you're a new teacher worried about your mom showing up or an experienced teacher preparing for holiday visitors, this episode gives you the frameworks you need to turn these complex situations into opportunities for deeper connection and better teaching.

Want to become (almost) everyone's favorite yoga teacher? Get in the Zone at Comfort Zone Yoga, my virtual studio focused on teacher development. I have a ton of Sage advice in there for you—let's chat there!

For more insights, subscribe to Yoga Teacher Confidential, check out my YouTube channel, and follow me on socials:

And come explore my mentorship program, my Yoga Class Prep Station membership, continuing education workshops and 300/500-hour teacher training programs, and my many books for yoga teachers. It's all at ...

Can I tell you something? The most awkward yoga class I ever taught wasn't in front of a packed workshop or during my first week as a new teacher. It was the regular Monday evening class where my husband west decided to attend. He literally raised his hand during class, raised his hand like he was in third grade, and asked me, am I doing this right? I am Sage Rountree, and this is Yoga Teacher Confidential: Secrets of Becoming a Great Yoga Teacher. Today we are exploring one of the more complex dynamics in yoga teaching. What happens when your friends and family show up to your class and what it means when your students bring their friends and family to practice with you. If you are teaching through the holiday season, you are almost certainly going to encounter this Thanksgiving gatherings and December visits mean that students are bringing their visiting relatives. Your own family members might show up to see what you do, and the whole thing can feel like teaching with one eye, watching your regular. Students and the other eye on people who know you in an entirely different context. We are going to talk about why this is so challenging, how to navigate it gracefully, and here's the part many yoga teachers don't think about how to recognize when a student bringing someone to your class is actually one of the highest compliments you can receive as a teacher. Let's start with what makes teaching friends and family so uniquely different. The issue isn't that they don't respect you as a teacher. The problem is that they're used to having your attention in completely different ways. When Wes came to my class, he wasn't being difficult or disrespectful. He genuinely wanted to know if he was doing the pose correctly. But the communication patterns between us were established in 1995, and they are fundamentally different from how I communicate with my students. Those neural pathways are decades deep. When he's in the room, my attention goes right to him, even in a room full of other students because that's how our relationship works in every other context. The same dynamic plays out differently with each family member. My younger daughter, when I used to drag her to class as a tween and teenager, would rebel theatrically. She'd lie in Shavasana for the entire practice while I taught around her. Was she being deliberately difficult? Maybe, but she was also a teenager being asked to participate in her mother's work environment, which is inherently weird. She had her own relationship with having my attention, and the yoga room didn't magically erase that dynamic. My older daughter, Lillian, on the other hand, became my best source of constructive feedback about my teaching for many years. She came to class with me. She could pinpoint my filler phrases, identify overused words, and as a teenager, she could spot anything, even slightly phony about my affect in front of the class. As a studio owner, I find it difficult to get honest critique even from other teachers because I hired them. Lillian's advice became invaluable. But here's the thing. Her feedback was always key to the experience of a flexible young woman. Most of the students in my class are male in their fifties and ultra runners. Her perspective was useful, but it wasn't universal. That's true of family feedback in general, it's valuable and it's limited. Now let's flip this scenario. What about when your students bring their friends and family to class First? Recognize what an enormous compliment this is. Think about it. Your student likes your class enough so that when someone they care about visits town or when they're trying to share something meaningful with a family member, your class is what they want to share. That's significant. They're essentially saying, this is important to me and I want you to experience it. But it also can create challenges. The visiting friend or family member might have completely different experience levels or expectations or attitudes about yoga. They might be there reluctantly as a favor. They might be evaluating you through the lens of, is this person good enough for my loved one to be spending time and money here? They're probably not, but they might be. They might have their own yoga background and be comparing you to their regular teacher and your regular student. They might be anxious. They want their person to have a good experience. They want you to make a good impression. They're watching both you and their guest trying to gauge if this is going well. This dynamic matters because it tests your ability to teach to multiple experience levels simultaneously while also managing complex social dynamics. And if you can't handle it well, you might lose students or create awkward situations that affect your class community. Let's talk about what's really happening in these moments when you have friends or family in your class. You are simultaneously inhabiting two different roles, the personal relationship role, and the teacher role. These roles have different scripts, different boundaries, and different expectations. In your personal relationships, you probably accommodate. Explain things multiple times, make exceptions, and adjust your communication style to each person. That's what we do with people we know well. But in your teaching role, you need to maintain consistency, set clear boundaries, hold space for everyone equally, and communicate in ways that serve the entire class. The tension between these roles is what makes teaching friends and family kind of exhausting. You're not just teaching yoga, you are managing competing relationship dynamics in real time. Here's what I see teachers do wrong in these situations. They either become overly accommodating to their personal connections, which makes things weird to the other students, or they overcompensate by being colder or more distant with their family members, which of course also feels weird to everyone in the room. When students bring guests, different problems emerge. Some teachers get nervous and start performing, trying to prove they're good enough for this new person. Others might be tempted to ignore the guest entirely, assuming the regular student will handle the integration. Both approaches miss the opportunity that these moments present a chance to be a gracious host and to take the major compliment that someone would bring their loved one to your class. Now let's take a quick pass through a Briar patch and chat about romantic relationships in yoga class. Here's the bottom line. Do not use your yoga class as a dating app. I'm going to tell you something that might be controversial though. Most of the standard advice about never dating students comes from an era when yoga teachers were predominantly male. Often charismatic and frequently abused their power. The warnings exist for good reason. There have been far too many situations where teachers leveraged their status to pursue students in ways that were predatory and harmful. But the modern yoga landscape is different, and the power dynamic isn't always as stark. Not every studio elevates teachers to guru status, we are all adults navigating complex social worlds where the people we meet, including in yoga classes, might genuinely be compatible romantic partners. So let's get nuanced about this. Clearly never capitalize on your status as teacher to leverage relationships with students. That's not nuanced, that's just unethical. If you're using your position to pursue someone, or if you're aware that someone is interested in you because of your teacher status and you're encouraging that. Stop. That's a clear abuse of power. But what about the gray areas? What about going on a date with someone who once accompanied a friend to your class? Maybe exactly because that friend thought you two would get along. What about inviting a new romantic interest to your class? When can your partner begin attending your class? Once you live together, once you're married? Teachers ask me this all the time, when is it appropriate for my boyfriend or girlfriend or partner to come to my class? Here's my answer. It depends on the nature of your relationship and the context of your teaching. Now, if you're dating someone casually, bringing them to class can feel like mixing contexts that don't need to be mixed yet. You are performing your professional role in front of someone. Still getting to know personally, and that can create a weird dynamic. But if you're in a committed relationship, your partner coming to class occasionally can be lovely. They get to see you in your element, and your students often enjoy meeting people who are important to you. The key is to have that conversation with your partner first. Set the same expectations you'd set with any family member. They won't get special attention during class. You'll need to maintain your teacher role, and they should expect to be treated like any other student. Here's something to think about. Your partner might not enjoy your class, and that has to be okay. Your romantic partner doesn't have to love everything you do professionally. In fact, them having their own separate practice might be healthier than you trying to be their teacher. Here's my guidance. Talk to your supervisor and talk to your yoga mentors. The grayer the situation, the more important it is to get outside perspective. Take your time. Any relationship worth waiting for can stand a slow unfolding. If you're feeling rushed or under pressure, that's a red flag. It's a sign you should not pursue it. Remember the yama of bra chaia? It's sometimes translated as sexual chastity, but I prefer the interpretation of bra chaia as temperance of deliberate self-control. That doesn't mean never dating anyone you meet in the yoga studio. It means being thoughtful, intentional, and careful about power dynamics. If you want a full discussion of this topic, including specific scenarios and ethical frameworks, check out my book called The Professional Yoga Teacher's Handbook, or Come to the Zone at Comfort Zone Yoga and let's talk it out. For this podcast. I just want you to remember, be deliberate, be ethical, and when in doubt wait. Now let's get practical. How do you actually handle hosting friends, family, and guests in class? First. Set expectations in advance. If you know your family member is planning to attend your class, have a conversation beforehand about what that means. You might say something like, I am so glad you're coming to class. Just so you know, I won't be able to give you special attention during the class. I need to teach everyone equally, but we can chat about it, everything afterward. This does two things. It protects your other students from feeling like you're playing favorites and it protects your family member from feeling ignored or treated differently during class. Introduce your family members to the group. This is important. You might say something like, I want you all to meet my husband, Wes. He's visiting class today. Wes, you're in good hands with this group. This serves multiple purposes. It explains any intimacy or familiarity between you that your students might pick up on. It helps your family member feel welcome to the community, and it gives everyone else permission to help your family member feel integrated. Don't overcorrect by being colder to your family members. I've seen teachers do this. They're so worried about appearing to favor their spouse or sibling that they barely acknowledge them. That's awkward for everyone. Treat them like honored guests, which they are while maintaining your role as teacher for the full class. And here's something I learned from experience. It's okay to acknowledge when it's weird if your teenager is lying in Shavasana for the entire class. You don't have to pretend it's not happening. You might say, lightly, my daughter is demonstrating an advanced variation of today's practice. Full class Shavasana. For the rest of us, let's move into cat and cow humor, diffuses tension, and it shows your students that you're human, they will love you even more for it. When a regular student walks in with someone new, acknowledge them immediately before class starts. Go over and say hello. Hi, I am Sage. I'm so glad you're here. Have you practiced this style of yoga before? Get their name. Find out something about them. Make eye contact. During class, make a point of welcoming them verbally to the group if that's the kind of way that you treat your group experience. I want to welcome guest name who's visiting us today. This is a wonderful group and they'll help you feel at home . This does several things. It signals to your regular student that you've noticed and valued they're bringing someone. It helps the guest feel less like an outsider, and it invites the rest of the class to be welcoming. Watch the guest during class. You don't need to hover, but check in visually to make sure they're not completely lost. If they're struggling. Offer modifications as you would for any new student. If they're more advanced than your regular format, you can offer variations to challenge them. After class. Check in with both the regular student and the guest. How was that for you? You might ask the guest and to your regular student, thanks for bringing them. It's always great to meet people who are important to you. This acknowledgement matters more than you might think. Your regular student took a risk of sharing this part of their life, even if their guests didn't love the class. Your recognition of that gesture strengthens your relationship with your student. Now during Thanksgiving and the December holidays, you are likely to see more visitors than usual. Prepare for this. At the beginning of class, you might say. I see we have some visiting family members today. Welcome, if this is your first time here, know that everything is optional. Nothing should hurt, and you can always rest in child's pose or any other shape if you need a break. This simple statement does a lot of work. It welcomes guests without singling anyone out. It sets safety expectations and it gives permission for different experience levels to coexist in the same room. Consider adjusting your teaching just slightly during the holiday weeks. This doesn't mean dumbing down your class, but it might mean offering more variations or explaining a bit more than usual, or focusing on the foundational movements in each chunk rather than exploring more complex variations, your regular students will understand, and most of them will appreciate having a more accessible class during busy holiday weeks anyway. Let's talk about what to do when things go wrong because they will. What if your family member behaves badly in class? This happened to me with my younger daughter's theatrical Shavasana protest in the moment. I acknowledged it with humor and moved on. After class, I had a private conversation with her about how her behavior affects not just me, but the other students who deserve a calm practice environment. What if a student's guest is disruptive or disrespectful? It's unlikely, but should it happen, you'll handle it the same way you would handle any disruptive student. You can speak to them privately during a transition. I notice you're talking during instruction. In our class, we maintain quiet so everyone can focus. If it continues, you can address it with the regular student after class. I noticed your guest was having trouble settling into the practice. Next time they visit, I'd be happy to chat with them beforehand about our class culture. Here's what I have learned after more than two decades of teaching yoga. Clear boundaries in these situations doesn't limit your relationships. It protects them. When you set expectations with your family members about how class will work, you're not being cold, you're being clear, and that clarity allows you to maintain your teaching role without feeling guilty about ignoring your loved ones. When you warmly welcome a student's guest while maintaining your consistent teaching approach, you are honoring both the relationship and the practice. You are showing your student that you value what they've shared while also maintaining the container that makes your class effective. When you're thoughtful about romantic relationships in your teaching sphere, you're protecting both your professional integrity and the possibility of genuine connection. You're refusing to let the yoga room become a dating app while also acknowledging that humans meet humans in all kinds of contexts, including yoga classes. The common thread here is intentionality. These situations become problematic when we're reactive, when we're caught off guard, and when we don't know what to do. So we either overcorrect or under respond, but when we think through these scenarios in advance, when we set clear expectations and when we maintain our teaching role while being warm and human, these situations become opportunities rather than problems. Your student bringing their mother to class isn't a complication. It's a window into what your teaching means to them. Your teenager lying in Shavasana for an entire class isn't just rebellion. It's also information about how your work life intersects with your family life. Your husband raising his hand to ask if he's doing it right isn't disruptive. It's a reminder that the people who know you best sometimes forget you have expertise. They need to trust. I want to end with something that might surprise you. Teaching people who know you in other contexts can actually make you a better teacher. When Lillian gives me feedback about my filler words and overused phrases, she's doing something my regular students couldn't do. She has enough familiarity with me to be honest, and enough distance from being my student to tell me hard truths. That makes me more conscious of my language patterns with all my students. When Wes came to class and I had to navigate teaching him alongside everyone else, I got better at differentiating my attention. I learned to give clear instructions that served everyone equally, rather than giving special explanations to the people I knew best. When students brought their skeptical family members to class, I got better at making yoga accessible to people who weren't already sold on it. I learned to explain benefits without proselytizing, to offer modifications, without making anyone feel less than, and to create an environment where skepticism could soften into curiosity. These skills transfer to every class you teach. The ability to maintain boundaries while staying warm. The capacity to welcome new people into an established community. The practice of treating everyone equally while also recognizing individual needs. These are master teacher skills and you develop them through exactly these kinds of complex situations. So here's my question for you. What has been your experience teaching friends and family or welcoming guests that students bring into your class? What worked and what would you do differently? I would love to continue this conversation in The Zone, our free community for yoga teachers at comfortzoneyoga.com. We have a thread specifically for discussing these kinds of real world teaching situations, and I know. Other teachers in the zone will benefit from hearing your stories and insights. The link is in the show notes for now. Thank you for listening to Yoga Teacher Confidential. I'm Sage Rountree, and I'll see you next time.

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Sage Rountree

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